MATRIMONIAL PANHANDLERS

How many times have you heard this sentence: "Hey, do you want to buy tickets for my friends' stag and doe?". My guess: too many.

The "stag and doe": an interesting phenomenon in which I used to participate, but now, thanks to an opinion of a friend, resulting in careful contemplation and eventual re-evaluation, I will no longer take part. When one really stops to think about it, the validity of such an event most definitely gets called into question.

Bottom line, this is the message: "I'm throwing a big party that I can't afford to have -so- I need you to participate in another party- so I can then afford the party I really want to have". Huh? Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Weddings can be ridiculously expensive. On the other hand, the bride and groom COULD have a modest celebration that falls within the boundaries of their finances. All too often the couple chooses door number one and can't make it work within their own budget. Here's an idea: Let's have a party so big that it will put us into massive debt. Better yet -let's have this party, but let's have another party and call it a fundraiser to pay for the second party that we can't afford in the first place. We're going to get hitched, but we're going to ask our beloved kindred to foot some of the bill. So, we'll have them buy tickets to the first party, and basically expect them to drop a load of money at the games, auctions, raffles, and bar. Not only that, we'll ask our closest friends to contribute to not only the fundraiser party, but then, we'll have a shower to which everyone will bring a gift, and THEN, they'll bring ANOTHER gift to the actual wedding.

What I'm really trying to say here is, if you can't afford a money-pit wedding, don't have one. Why should your friends be guilted into shouldering some of the burden when you are the one living beyond your means -especially for the sake of one day? How about this instead: either have a smaller, reasonably priced wedding that won't put you in the food-stamp line, or SAVE UP to have the lavish shindig. Why should your party be the financial responsibility of everyone else? It's your party, so cry if you want to -just don't make your nearest and dearest pay to see it.

Let's look at it another way, shall we? Imagine if I organized a pre-birthday party in which I expected all my friends to participate and practically fund, just to raise money so I could throw myself a bigger, better, birthday party for those same friends to attend, gift in hand. It seems downright ridiculous when the scenario changes, doesn't it?

As much as I appreciate my friends and loved ones, please do not take offence when any future solicitations for "stag and doe" parties are met with a unwavering, "no thanks".

HAVE YOUR SAY: Do you think the bride and groom (and perhaps their families) should make arrangements to pay for their own wedding or do you like the "Stag and Doe" fundraiser?